How to Kiss
Drop hints that you're interested. You can put out some subtle signals that you're angling for a kiss without coming right out and saying it. Here's how to communicate it romantically:- Get caught looking (briefly) at the other person's lips.
- Don't purse your lips. Keep them softly parted — not so much that you could breathe comfortably through the opening, but enough that you could bite your bottom lip easily.
- Make your mouth appealing. Use chapstick or lipgloss to smooth over flaky lips, and keep your breath fresh with mints or spray. Avoid gum, which you might have to spit out awkwardly if the other person goes in for a kiss.
- If you're kissing a girl . Take her hand and slowly lift it to your mouth. Gently press your lips into the back of your hand for 2 or 3 seconds before breaking away.
- If you're kissing a guy . Lean in and plant a 2- or 3-second kiss on his cheek. Keep your lips soft, and avoid puckering like you would if you were kissing a family member. If you want your intentions to be extra clear, aim for the part of his cheek just to the side of his lips.
- Say it in an intimate way. Lower the volume and tone of your voice slightly, and lock eyes. Not only does this communicate that you have deep feelings for this person, it entices him or her to come closer to hear you.
- Focus on an alluring quality. Even if you truly think that your date is an amazing basketball player, now might not be the best time to bring it up. Instead, base your compliment on how you see your date as a romantic partner. Try these lines:
- "You are SO beautiful."
- "Your eyes drive me crazy."
- "I love to see you smile."
- "I can't even believe I'm lucky enough to be with you right now."
- "I'd love nothing more than to kiss you right now."
- "I'm sorry if this is too forward, but I'd really like to kiss you."
- "I want to kiss you so much that it is just about killing me."
Go in for the kiss . Don't waste any time once you have the go-ahead — close your eyes, lean in and smooch! The next sections will discuss some kissing techniques, as well as how to handle kissing in different dating situations such as a first kiss or kissing after a date.
Keep your lips soft . Tense puckers are for family members or people you're obligated to kiss, but keeping your mouth slightly parted and soft communicates a sense of openness.
Do a few soft kisses . Start slow with soft, gentle kisses and skip the tongue and the teeth — for now. If your partner seems receptive, you can move forward to French kissing.- Try to avoid letting your lips smack. The noise can be distracting, and might break your immersion in the moment. If you do find yourself smacking, slow down and part your lips a bit more.
- Stay light at first. Avoid smashing your lips against your date's mouth — for now. Kissing softly and gently gives the other person the chance to stop if it's uncomfortable, as well as allowing you to gauge his or her interest.
Stay at a manageable level of saliva. Slobbery puppies are the last thing you want your date thinking of while you kiss him or her. Avoid this fate by swallowing excess saliva occasionally. If you notice that your lips are a bit too wet, pull away and discreetly purse them to bring the extra spit back into your mouth.
"Lock" lips . If your initial kisses have gone well, try a lip lock, which can lead to closer kisses (and is a nice gateway for French kissing ). Basically, you'll "stack" your lips so that (for instance) it looks like this:- Your lower lip
- Your partner's lower lip
- Your upper lip
- Your partner's upper lip
- At first, putting your date's lower lip between yours is the safest bet. Most people have larger lower lips, making them easier to grab gently with your lips.
- Don't feel self-conscious about being out of breath or needing to take a break for a second. Breathing hard is an indication that you're nervous and excited, which your partner will probably find flattering.
- Place your hands lightly on your partner's shoulders or around his or her waist. (In Western culture, girls generally put their hands on a boys shoulders while he puts his hands around her waist.)
- Take the intimacy up a notch by pulling your partner in closer.
- Put your hands on the sides of his or her face, using your thumb to sweep across the cheekbone, or put one hand under his or her chin and tilt it upward.
- Another seriously sensual move is to put both hands around the back of your partner's head and tangle them in his or her hair, gently pulling.
- See how your partner responds. If he or she presses in closer or returns the gesture, you're probably clear to keep increasing the intensity of the kiss. If your date pulls away, maybe it's best to pull back the tongue for now and stick to lips-only kisses.
- Sweep your tongue along the inside of your partner's lower lip. Try to move slowly and lightly at first, increasing speed and pressure only if your partner seems to respond well.
- Slide the tip of your tongue inside your partner's mouth and gently move it against the tip of his or her tongue. Use light, darting motions and keep your tongue moving — letting it sit limply in your partner's mouth isn't appealing and will bring a quick end to the kissing.
- Try deeper and harder strokes if your partner seems responsive.
- Alternating your technique will keep your partner from being able to predict what's coming next. Maintaining this sense of surprise and spontaneity helps your kisses avoid becoming stale.
- Keep the pressure as light as possible. Remember that you're aiming to nibble, not bite.
- Move slowly. Again, keeping your pace gentle will help prevent accidentally chomping on your partner's lip.
- When your lips are locked, place your teeth over your partner's lower lip and slowly pull back until your teeth are almost at the end of the lip. Pause for a moment, then resume kissing as usual.
- Don't break out the biters too much. They should be an occasional perk, not the main attraction.
- Be prepared for rejection. Not everyone likes a side of teeth with their kisses. If your partner doesn't respond well, try not to be too offended — it's probably a matter of personal taste, not a lapse in your technique.
- Instead of putting a damper on the action, these small moments can actually make kissing more intimate. It gives your partner the sense that you see him or her as a complete person, and not simply something to kiss.
Part Four of Five:
<a href="/Kiss-Goodnight" title="Kiss Goodnight">Kissing After a Date</a> Edit
Get close. Since the possibility of a goodbye kiss always beckons—and assuming it’s your desire—it’s best to start getting close sooner than later. Otherwise, you will find yourself saying your goodbyes with what feels like a chasm between you, making the swoop in for the kiss very conspicuous and awkward.
- Guys, this is when you get the dreaded last-minute-turn-and-kiss-on-the-cheek routine, which is second only to the phrase, “You remind me of my brother,” for most-deflating date ending. As you walk your date to the car, the door, etc. put your hand (or a jacket) on your date’s shoulder or back. This breaks the touch barrier, gently lets your date know your intentions, and gives you an excuse to stand very close all at the same time.
Watch your date’s reaction. If your date angles his or her body away from you or speeds up to create distance, don’t try to complete the goodnight kiss—and don’t let your ego make a fool of you. Simply flash a big smile, thank them for the lovely time, and go about your business. It could simply be that your date isn’t ready to kiss yet.
Maintain eye contact . Making eye contact while standing close is a universally acknowledged indicator that a post-date kiss is about to take place.- If the eye contact becomes too long, break and reestablish it as necessary; it’s better to let your eyes dart around than subject your date to an interrogation-style stare down. One good way to break eye contact while maintaining the romance is to glance down at your date’s lips
- It may feel awkward to make your desires so clear, just remember that by giving your date a heads-up, you will make the kiss go much more smoothly and improve the odds that it will turn into a glorious make out session. Trying to plant a kiss by surprise, on the other hand, may result in bumped noses and teeth, a startled pullback, and much awkwardness.
- While you shouldn’t try to end the conversation abruptly, which might come across as trying to get over with your goodbyes, you shouldn’t encourage your date to ramble, either.
- Let the chatter die down by keeping your responses friendly but minimal.
- Don’t confuse this with a friendly peck smack in the middle the cheek; make your feelings clear by placing the kiss close to the ear or mouth and letting your lips linger for a second, or whisper something flirty in their ear with lips touching. This will help the other person know that the kiss isn't meant in a platonic context.
- Resist the temptation to kiss hard or with tongue, unless you've been chasing this person for quite some time. It might seem too forward and shut down future opportunities.
Follow your date’s lead. Pay attention to how your date responds and moves during the kiss. If they lean closer or linger, you may be able to transition into more romantic kissing; otherwise, end the kiss by pulling slowly back, reopening your eyes to make eye contact, and smiling.
Pucker your lips. Having your lips puckered keeps them tight and somewhat closed, indicating that you're unwilling to open your mouth for more intimacy. Most people will read a pucker as strictly platonic.- To know if you're puckering your lips correctly, kiss in the air. How loud is the kissing noise? It should be a clearly audible "pop" of your lips as you part them while sucking air in. A romantic kiss will barely make this noise because your lips are much more relaxed.
- If you're uncomfortable actually kissing the other person's skin, try air kissing. Lean in so that your cheek is touching the side of the other person's cheek, and kiss the air with a few quick and audible puckers. For extra effect, pull back, switch sides, and do it again.
Keep it brief. The amount of time your lips spend on the other person's cheek or lips should be limited to whatever it takes to make that kissing noise described in the previous step—nothing more. If your lips linger, it won't seem so platonic.
Kiss out of respect or worship. Bow or kneel before the other person. Look up in respect. Remain in this position during the kiss. Take the person's hand gently and bring it close to your lips.